As mentioned before, I am not a natural designer, and my previous design attempts resulted in physical illness for anyone unfortunate enough to view them. This is not an ideal state of affairs when one wants to sell to the general public.
Luckily, there are a few methods you can use to stop yourself from visually poisoning potential customers. By far the easiest is to outright cheap and buy a theme. Still, one can’t help but worry: what will I get after handing over my money?